Starting the year with a pregnancy scare and lessons learned so far...

On the second day of the new year, I had the realisation that I was late, and not in the old-fashioned 'missed my bus' kind of way. My horoscope the day prior had told me that there were unexpected changes predicted for the month ahead, so really, I should have been prepared. Three days and two pregnancy tests later (apparently, I don't have good aim), I can confirm I am not pregnant. But in the mere five days of 2024 I have already learnt a lot. A few of those learnings so far;

1.       My husband is not ready. The first thing he said when I told him I was late was “Babies can’t be having babies,” meaning, of course, that we are just kids and are in no position to be making children of our own (it’s worth pointing out we are 33).

2.       I am both 100% ready and 100% not ready. It was a whirlwind 48 hours of thoughts like 'Has my year ended before it began?' and 'There goes my identity' to creating Pinterest boards for nursery inspo, researching the best pregnancy meal plans for optimum health and Googling how to run a half marathon while pregnant (for more context, I have never once run a 10K, let alone a half marathon. I managed 2kms this morning and I nearly cried).

3. You can't use retinol. Did everyone know this? Pass it on.

4. Inside I am still a 15 year old catholic girl filled with shame. And maybe my husband is too? When it came time to buy the pregnancy test, my husband and I had to rock, paper, scissors for who was to go into the pharmacy to buy it because we were both too embarrassed (see point 1, perhaps he is on to something). While I am what many would have considered a geriatric pregnancy, and although I am married to my partner of 8 years, it turns out no-one had updated the girl running the show in my head. Boy, was she surprised. She was still under the impression we were an unwed, high school student with big city dreams. I guess all that retinol really has been working.

There were many more rollercoaster thoughts, feelings and revelations, but ultimately, I was happy surprised by how quickly I fell into pregnant person mode, trying to learn everything I could about how to create the best environment for my unborn child and prepare myself mentally and physically. Mixed with a healthy does of fear and anxiety, of course.

Weirdly it’s the first year I’ve ever wanted to do dry January. Pre realising I had missed my period, I had an unexpected urge to give up alcohol for at least a month and began to follow lots of inspiring sober accounts. After the pregnancy scare, I assumed that my intuition and connection to my 2-week-old collection of cells were so powerful that my body just knew to stop drinking. With what I know now (not pregnant), I realised that actually, I have completely overindulged this Christmas period and my body is begging me to please, dear God, give it a rest.

So, here is to a new year, filled with growth, surprises, transformation, change and lots of new memories.

Jx